Body Dysmorphic Disorder
Definition
By Mayo Clinic staff
Body dysmorphic disorder is a type of chronic mental illness in which you can't stop thinking about a flaw with your appearance — a flaw either that is minor or that you imagine. But to you, your appearance seems so shameful and distressing that you don't want to be seen by anyone. Body dysmorphic disorder has sometimes been called "imagined ugliness."
When you have body dysmorphic disorder, you intensely obsess over your appearance and body image, often for many hours a day. You may seek out numerous cosmetic procedures to try to "fix" your perceived flaws but never are satisfied. Body dysmorphic disorder is also known as dysmorphophobia, or the fear of having a deformity.
Symptoms
By Mayo Clinic staff
Signs and symptoms of body dysmorphic disorder include:
■Preoccupation with your physical appearance
■Strong belief that you have an abnormality or defect in your appearance that makes you ugly
■Frequently examining yourself in the mirror or, conversely, avoiding mirrors altogether
■Believing that others take special notice of your appearance in a negative way
■Frequent cosmetic procedures with little satisfaction
■Excessive grooming, such as hair plucking
■Feeling extremely self-conscious
■Refusing to appear in pictures
■Skin picking
■Comparing your appearance with that of others
■Avoiding social situations
■Wearing excessive makeup or clothing to camouflage perceived flaws
Body features you may obsess about include:
■Nose
■Hair
■Skin
■Moles or freckles
■Acne and blemishes
■Baldness
■Breast size
■Muscle size
■Genitalia
The body feature you focus on may change over time. You may be so convinced about your perceived flaws that you become delusional, imagining something about your body that's not true, no matter how much someone tries to convince you otherwise.
(http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/body-dysmorphic-disorder)
Doesn't this describe almost EVERY WOMAN? It has become more noticeble to me lately that almost every woman I talk to is overly concerned with some part of her body. Usually, the concern is over something that NOBODY else would even notice were it not pointed out. Why would we do this to ourselves? Since we are all such amazing, beautiful, smart women, how could we ever let ourselves succomb to such miniscule detail? I do not understand it, but I don't want to live this way...
TRUE STORY:
On Friday night, I left my make-up bag at work. My small hot pink clutch is a gold mine of all that I associate my physical being with. Inside this treasure chest is concealer (for the bags under my eyes), powder (so I won't be shiny), blush (because I have no color in my cheeks), eyeliner and mascara (because my eyelashes are too thin), lipstick (because there is also no color in my lips)... and so on. I wasn't feeling well over the weekend, and didn't go down to the restaurant where I work to retrieve my make-up bag. This resulted in a complete break-down. I didn't leave the house the entire weekend, but even at home amidst my fiance (who loves me with or without my make-up on) and my two cats (who probably also love me with or without the make-up), I felt disgusting. How did I go about solving this problem? Face the mirror and say, "You're beautiful..." and smile? Of course not. Did I call a girlfriend for reassurance? Why on earth would I do that? No, my course of action was to avoid any and all reflective surfaces in my household and to wear my glasses (which are enormous) in order to "hide" my face.
On Monday, when I was scheduled to return to work, I still had not gone to pick up my make-up bag. I went into work with my face completely bare. When I looked in the cabinet where I remembered having left my make-up bag, it wasn't there. I started to sweat. I felt nervous and exposed. I had gone into work with a blank canvas ready for my war paint and it wasn't there! I quickly ran back to the office, hoping that someone had seen the bag and handed it to a manager for safe keeping. Nope. Not in the office, not safe, not anywhere. Pure panic swept over me. All I could think about was everyone MUST be staring at me. They MUST see how different I look, and now they all know that I am a liar. My face, or at least the face they know and the face that I prefer, is a lie, and now, everyone I work with knows it (because of course, the winged eye painted a quarter of an inch out from where my eyelid ends is TOTALLY natural, and everyone believes it, oh, and also, my lips are 100% naturally blood red at all times, yep, you all bought it). I was upset for the next 30 minutes, until I realized that I had overlooked the bag, which was sitting in the cabinet where I left it the whole time. 30 minutes of fear, panic, and embarassment. 30 minutes of my life lost. 30 freaking minutes.
In retrospect, I realize that this behavior is absurd. Had I not made such a big stink about the way I looked, my fiance (and I guess the cats for that matter) probably wouldn't have noticed that I wasn't wearing any make-up. Boys tend to see the whole picture versus the tiny details that women notice, so... And, if I hadn't made such a fuss at work, no one there would have noticed either. Furthermore, had I not typed this whole shindig, no one on the interwebs would have known either. I digress, that is exactly why I typed this blog, because I am not alone.
Self-esteem: Boost your self-image with these 5 steps
Cognitive behavioral therapy techniques can help you unlearn thought patterns that contribute to low self-esteem. See examples of thoughts that can erode self-esteem and learn healthy substitutes.
By Mayo Clinic staff
Low self-esteem can negatively affect virtually every part of your life, including your relationships, your job and your health. But you can raise your self-esteem to a healthy level, even if you're an adult who's been harboring a negative self-image since childhood.
Changing the way you think — about yourself and your life — is essential to boosting self-esteem. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) techniques are especially helpful in changing unhealthy thinking and behavior patterns. These techniques are based on the idea that your feelings and behavior result from how you think about yourself and your life. Cognitive behavioral techniques can help you recognize, challenge and ultimately replace negative thoughts or inaccurate beliefs with more positive, realistic ones.
These five steps toward healthy self-esteem are based on cognitive behavioral therapy principles. As you go through these five steps, consider jotting down your thoughts, experiences and observations in a journal to help you use these steps more effectively.
Step 1: Identify troubling conditions or situations
Think about the conditions or situations that you find troubling and that seem to deflate your self-esteem, such as dreading a business presentation, frequently becoming angry or always expecting the worst. You may be struggling with a change in life circumstances, such as the death of a loved one, job loss or children leaving home, or a relationship with another person, such as a spouse, family member or co-worker.
Step 2: Become aware of beliefs and thoughts
Once you've identified troubling conditions or situations, pay attention to your thoughts related to them. This includes your self-talk — what you tell yourself — and your interpretation of what the situation means. Your thoughts and beliefs may be positive, negative or neutral. They may be rational — based on reason or facts — or irrational — based on false ideas.
Step 3: Pinpoint negative or inaccurate thinking
Notice when your thoughts turn toward the negative. Your beliefs and thoughts about a situation affect your reaction to it. Negative thoughts and beliefs about something or someone can trigger physical, emotional and behavioral responses, such as:
■Physical responses. These may include muscle tension, a sore back, racing heart, stomach problems, sweating or changes in sleeping patterns.
■Emotional responses. These may include difficulty concentrating, or feeling depressed, angry, sad, nervous, guilty or worried.
■Behavioral responses. These may include eating when not hungry, avoiding tasks, working more than usual, spending increased time alone, obsessing about a situation or blaming others for your problems.
Step 4: Challenge negative or inaccurate thinking
Your initial thoughts may not be the only possible way to view a situation. So test the accuracy of your thoughts. Ask yourself whether your view is consistent with facts and logic or whether there might be other explanations for the situation.
You may not easily recognize inaccuracies in your thinking, though. Most people have automatic, long-standing ways of thinking about their lives and themselves. These long-held thoughts and beliefs feel normal and factual to you, but many are actually just opinions or perceptions.
These kinds of thought patterns tend to erode self-esteem:
■All-or-nothing thinking. You see things as either all good or all bad. For example, "If I don't succeed in this task, I'm a total failure."
■Mental filtering. You see only negatives and dwell on them, distorting your view of a person or situation. For example, "I made a mistake on that report and now everyone will realize I'm not up to this job."
■Converting positives into negatives. You reject your achievements and other positive experiences by insisting that they don't count. For example, "I only did well on that test because it was so easy."
■Jumping to negative conclusions. You reach a negative conclusion when little or no evidence supports it. For example, "My friend hasn't replied to my e-mail, so I must have done something to make her angry."
■Mistaking feelings for facts. You confuse feelings or beliefs with facts. For example, "I feel like a failure, so I must be a failure." No matter how strong a feeling is, it isn't a fact.
■Self put-downs. You undervalue yourself, put yourself down or use self-deprecating humor. This can result from overreacting to a situation, such as making a mistake. For example, "I don't deserve anything better."
Step 5: Change your thoughts and beliefs
Once you've identified negative or inaccurate thinking you can replace it with accurate thoughts and beliefs. This can enable you to find constructive ways to cope, and give your self-esteem a boost.
It takes time and effort to learn how to recognize and replace distressing thoughts with accurate ones. Thoughts often occur spontaneously or automatically. They can they can be hard to control or turn off. Thoughts also can be very powerful and aren't always based on logic.
These strategies may help you:
■Use hopeful statements. Treat yourself with kindness and encouragement. Pessimism can be a self-fulfilling prophecy. That is, if you think your presentation isn't going to go well, you may indeed stumble through it. Try telling yourself things such as, "Even though it's tough, I can handle this situation."
■Forgive yourself. Everyone makes mistakes. Mistakes aren't permanent reflections on you as a person. They are isolated moments in time. Tell yourself, "I made a mistake, but that doesn't make me a bad person."
■Avoid 'should' and 'must' statements. If you find that your thoughts are full of these words, you may be putting unreasonable demands on yourself — or on others. Removing these words from your self-talk can give you and others more realistic expectations.
■Focus on the positive. Think about the good parts of your life. Ask yourself, "What things have gone well recently?" "What skills do I have to help me cope with challenging situations?"
■Relabel upsetting thoughts. Having negative thoughts doesn't mean you must choose to react negatively. Instead, think of them as signals to use new, healthy thinking patterns. Ask yourself, "What can I think and do to make this less stressful?"
■Encourage yourself. Give yourself credit for making positive changes. Tell yourself, "I did a good job on the presentation. It may not have been perfect, but my colleagues said it was good."
Achieving healthy self-esteem
With practice, these steps may come more easily to you. You'll be better able to recognize the thoughts and beliefs that are contributing to your low self-esteem. Because self-esteem can fluctuate over time, you may want to revisit these steps, especially if you begin to feel down on yourself again. Keeping a journal or daily log can help you track trouble spots over time.
Achieving a balanced, accurate view of yourself and accepting your value as a person can help you feel happier and more confident. And that may rub off on others too, including your children, family and friends.
(http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/self-esteem/MH00129)
I decided to compromise with myself at work this evening. I allowed myself to apply blush, mascara, and a little lipstick. I did not use the liquid eyeliner to draw on a winged eye. I did not cover my face in matte powder to conceal natural oils. And also, I did not allow myself to fuss over my hair. Instead, I left it half up and wild the way it was when I entered the building. These may sound like only small things to you, but to me, these were ENORMOUS steps. At first I was pretty uncomfortable. When I looked in the mirror, I felt incomplete, as if something was fundamentally missing from my face, like an eyeball or a lip. I said, "You are beautiful," and zipped up the make-up bag. It was hard, very hard. To my surpise, no one even noticed. My tips were not effected and the world didn't end by me not wearing my usual full face of make-up. By the way, I completely expected the world to collapse because I didn't fill in my eyebrows, just so we're clear on that.
My point is, I guess, even if someone noticed nobody CARED. Why? Maybe because people didn't want to hurt my feelings by telling me that I didn't look like my usual self, but probably (or at least I hope), because people care about me and not the mask I wear.
Remember to tell yourself that you are beautiful.
-Britni Dawson
